"she's got dreams too big for this town"

I want to be on tour again. I want to sleep on the sidewalk. I want to eat gas station pies and pepsi for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I want to drive 500 miles blasting the same song. I want to be front row singing and dancing with my friends. I want Zac to mock my clapping skills. I want to make new friends. I want to beat my record of packing the trunk (less than 2 minutes). I want to pitch a tent. I want to go to QT. I want Taylor to tell me I look fresh at 7 am. I want to drive through 7 states in less than 24 hours. Most of all, I want the feeling I get when the lights go down and the opening chords of "Great Divide" play.

Nothing else compares to that moment, those 2 hours when everything seems right in the world. I often wish I was as naive and ignorant as the 3 year olds in my class. I wish I could be enthralled by looking at a caterpillar and watching it wriggle up a tree for 10 minutes. I wish I could put 2 k'nexes together and really see a house. I wish the hardest thing I was learning was the difference between a circle and a square. When Hanson is on stage, that's what I feel like: a child with no worries except the present task at hand. It really is a very empowering feeling, so much that I want to continuously feel it.

I know that I have to grow up, be an adult, and be responsible but why? Why do I need to stop following my dreams? Who's to say if they're childish or not? Who makes that decision and why do they have so much power?

I wanna worry about the here and now rather than always thinking ahead. Don't get me wrong, it's good to plan; but you only live once and what's the point if you're not going to truly experience it and actually live?

life

I never know what to say in these blogs because I don't want to bore people with the mundane details of my life; but I also don't want to give out too much personal stuff. You never know who could be reading these things.

I need a change, I need to get out of here, I don't like staying in one place, it bores me. I usually get like this after I see Hanson, because their shows are one of the few places I'm truly happy. I wish I could just be on the road all the time. I know I can bitch and moan from time to time about lack of sleep, nice showers, or a bed to sleep on; but really all the crazy times, the memories, the randomness, that all makes up for it. It makes every less second seem worth it especially when Hanson is on stage and I'm going crazy dancing with my friends, singing and playing the harmonica. Following Hanson on tour is almost what makes me me.

I'm afraid I'll never be happy in just one place, that I'll have to constantly keep moving. Like I'm on a search for something and I just don't know what it is. I think I'll know what it is when I find it, hopefully.

I've toyed with the idea of becoming a flight attendant, but I often wonder if the flexibility in your schedule is there.
I don't even know what I want to do as a career. I know I want to help save the world, I want to travel, I know I'm good with children, but honestly who has time for a job? There is so much to see and do that I feel like people waste most of their lives working, making lots of money, buying expensive stuff and never getting to use it or appreciate it because they're working so much to make more.

One day I'll realize what I'm meant to do, until then I'll just keep following the road signs, I suppose.