Livin' on Luck: August 2008

I want this more than anything, but I can't do it. I know once I go to one show, I'll just want to keep going. Hanson is a miniscule part of why I tour, these are the real reasons I do it. Sleeping on the sidewalk, driving with the windows down and the radio up, swoon dancing in the front row, drinking pepsi at 8 AM, putting 10 people in a hotel room, all with people who get the same feeling I get everyday of touring. Not know what's going to happen when we get to the new city, the nerves right before the doors open, the laughs we share, the memories we make: that's our passion, Hanson was just part of that. But I got too close to them and it broke me a little. It really could have been any musician or artist, but Hanson spoke to all of us in a way that only we understood. But they're not the reason I've ever done it, their music, their fans, my friends, my memories, that's what makes this special. I want it back so bad, but I don't know how. I want those feelings of nervousness, excitement, fear, joy and everything else in between that comes with driving to the next random city after a day in a place you wouldn't have gone otherwise.

I'm blaming Hanson and their reasoning for not going, but really it's the fear of getting too deep and not being able to pull myself out again.

Yesterday began with a decision: do I go see Curtis or not? Around 11 am, I realized that I most definitely needed to go. I started getting ready and became super stoked which only assured my reasoning. I decided I was going to have a good day no matter what happened and a good day it was indeed!

I got to Borders just in time to grab a drink and hear Curtis start playing. Of course, I practically melted when he looked over at me and smiled while I was walking up. Seriously, I forgot how much I loved his shows. This is right about when the story gets interesting; Todd Carey comes out and I didn’t want to just get up and leave so I stayed for 2 songs. I had to pee, so I went in the bathroom and what do I do? DROP MY PHONE IN THE TOILET! So, I spazzed, ripped the phone out of the toilet, starting drying it with toilet paper, taking everything out, and praying to the phone Gods that it would work again. By the time I went back to the concert area, Keaton Simons was on and of course I’m freaking out about the phone, so I take it apart again and keep praying all the while thinking, “wow, Keaton is going to think I’m a rude bitch because I’m on the phone the whole time.”

Finally, after Keaton is done, I go over and talk to Curtis, but these other people are over there. So, I walk over there and Curtis does his usual, “hey baby,” and gives me a hug. I barely got to talk to him at all there, but I made a friend who told me it started at 7, but it didn't

It started at 8, so we sat there and watched them sound check and then Kary left to go bring something to her hotel, so I was by myself like a loser with a broken phone that kept randomly dialing people and no working letter “I.” Curtis came over and gave me the first backrub of the night and we talked about something until he had to sound check . Finally, Jean and her family got there brownies in tow of course and they came to talk to me and Curtis came over and we talked about the Mexicans and the British and Tara Lea. I was like, “where has Tara been? I haven’t seen her in forever.” and Curtis is like, “she was there last night unlike someone” and looks right at me and I just shrugged.

Curtis played and then Keaton, but of course I had to pee again. So, I went over between Keaton and Todd so to not interrupt either of their sets. Someone was in there, of course, so I waited. And Curtis came out of the men’s room and gave me backrub number two. We talked about work and moving and his next East Coast tour and babysitting and NYC. Then, Todd played and I wasn’t sure if I liked him at Borders but he was AMAZING that night and played the most fabulous song ever that we helped him title.

The Acoustic Café is super teeny tiny, so everyone walked over to the front where the door and the merch was; Kary and I decided to wait because it was too crowded over there. Keaton came over and started packing up, so I went and talked to him because honestly I would talk to a wall if there was no one else around, not that Keaton isn’t a superb conversationalist, but you know. So, anyway we started talking about Hanson, of course, because he toured with them. He told me he definitely wants to tour with them again and that he had just talked to Taylor and they wanted to work something out. Somehow we started talking about Fool’s Banquet and I had forgotten he went this past year, but I mentioned I had heard songs from it and that the songs always leak. He asked which ones I heard and I told him the ones Stephen Kellogg sang at some of the Hanson shows and he started singing a song that he knew that both SK and Pat McGee were singing at their shows now. And I was like, “nope, not that one, but if you ever feel the need to leak those songs, let me know.” He started talking about this awesome song he wrote with Isaac and he told me he would sing it to me. Then, we talked about the VA show and he said we should go, but I told him I had to work and he asked what I did. We started talking about the children and their sometimes stupid parents and how much he loves kids. Then, I don’t know how we got on the topic but we talked about bands touring in buses and vans and the Backstreet Boys having four buses and being green. Completely random conversation, but then we went over to try to talk to Curtis again but he was talking to Jean, I think. So, we talked to Todd about how we loved his new song and he told us that he would be in NYC in October and we should go.

All of sudden, Keaton walked through us and I jokingly said, “still waiting for you to play that song,” and he was like, “oh yeah, I already put the guitar away, but come on” and started walking back towards the stage. I NEVER EVER thought he was actually going to sing it, let alone take out his guitar, sing the whole thing plus 4 more songs. So, I followed him to the stage and he takes out his guitar and starts playing it. Kary was all, “I wanna hear, too” so it was just the two of us for the first song which is preeeety amazing, I have to say. Then, Tara came over and she wanted him to play “Good Things” but instead he played a song he wrote with JASON MRAZ at Fool’s Banquet and then another song he wrote with Andrew Ripp. Then finally, he played “Good Things.” Sometime during this Todd came over and started jamming with Keaton. Then, I was like “how about Drive Away?” so he played it. I told him that was my favorite and he said he would remember that and I told him he had to because he had to play at every show I went to in the future. After that, we decided it was time to finish packing up because it was getting late and I wanted to leave, but I needed to say good bye to Curtis. He had walked outside to put his stuff in the van, so Kary and I walked outside with Tara. He came over to us for the third and final backrub. I told him that he should have joined the jam session and that he never gave me a private show and he said, “how about just a private dance?“

All I wanted to do was say good-bye, but he kept being like, “be right back, I have to go do this that or the other thing.” So, then we started talking about really random stuff and he kept telling me that he was glad I came and I told him he should just move East Coast and he said he thought about it and wanted to but he really thinks he’s a Southern Californian. Then, Darla, their drummer, started doing pilates in the middle of the parking lot while smoking a cigarette and Daniel was drinking Jack Daniels out of a bottle in a paper bag. Finally, Kary was like, “I have to go” so she said good bye and left but I didn’t even see Keaton, so I started talking to Darla. Then, I was like “I have to go” so I went over to Curtis to say good bye and he started talking about whatever again, so finally he was like ‘I’m really glad you came” and hugged me for about 8 minutes. And I was like, “I need to say good bye to Keaton, do you know where he is?” And he went to get him, but Keaton was doing something, so I just waited again. Finally, Keaton came out and I was like, “I just want to say thank you again and see you next time” so he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and I went to go walk away and he was like, “I need to hug you again” and I was like “ummm.” I said good bye to Todd and Tara and finally left.

All in all, one of the best shows I have ever been and I miss it already and wish I had done more shows.

Pictures as soon as Kary puts them online, because lamerz me left her memory card at home but brought her camera.