you are what I'm looking for

I want this more than anything, but I can't do it. I know once I go to one show, I'll just want to keep going. Hanson is a miniscule part of why I tour, these are the real reasons I do it. Sleeping on the sidewalk, driving with the windows down and the radio up, swoon dancing in the front row, drinking pepsi at 8 AM, putting 10 people in a hotel room, all with people who get the same feeling I get everyday of touring. Not know what's going to happen when we get to the new city, the nerves right before the doors open, the laughs we share, the memories we make: that's our passion, Hanson was just part of that. But I got too close to them and it broke me a little. It really could have been any musician or artist, but Hanson spoke to all of us in a way that only we understood. But they're not the reason I've ever done it, their music, their fans, my friends, my memories, that's what makes this special. I want it back so bad, but I don't know how. I want those feelings of nervousness, excitement, fear, joy and everything else in between that comes with driving to the next random city after a day in a place you wouldn't have gone otherwise.





I'm blaming Hanson and their reasoning for not going, but really it's the fear of getting too deep and not being able to pull myself out again.